When you say “my anxiety won’t let me…” here’s what might be underneath.

My mom or dad would be upset with me

My friends would judge me

My culture would be embarrassed of me

My family would ostracize me

My peers would laugh at me

My church would condemn me

My teachers would yell at me

My fear of being alone would paralyze me

And on and on…

Hopefully you get the picture.

When we say “my anxiety won’t let me,” it’s often not some invisible force inside of us that comes from being broken, lacking, or doing too much.

Anxiety is very real, and it absolutely has physical and neurological components. But it’s also shaped by external pressures that have been held inside for too long. That internal sense of “something’s not right” is trying to get your attention. It’s trying to help you.

The constant judgment and criticism. The sideways remarks that seemed innocent on the surface. The pressure to fit expectations or risk disappointing someone. Your body knew those things didn’t feel right. They were boxes that family systems, cultures, or society really wanted you to fit into.

To keep functioning and performing, we often learn to stifle those messages. Later, they show up physically. Nerves on high alert. A constant sense of urgency or doom. Trouble concentrating. Racing thoughts. Maybe even palpitations or nausea.

Those aren’t signs that something is wrong with you. And they don’t mean you’re doomed to struggle forever. They’re guideposts, inviting you to look deeper, if and when you feel ready.

Sometimes support starts with noticing more subtle layers too, like:

my gut health is struggling to support my physical and mental load

my hormones are out of balance and chronic stress isn’t helping

my body is missing nutrients that could actually make this feel more manageable

This is why I always meet people where they’re at. Some feel safer starting with the physical first and then noticing how their emotional world shifts. There’s no right order.

Whatever your situation looks like, anxiety doesn’t have to be something you carry forever. And it definitely doesn’t have to be your authority figure.

You get to decide what you want your life to look like. No one has to “let you” anymore. You already have the capacity to handle life from an empowered place. Maybe you just weren’t taught how to use those tools yet.

I know this personally. Moving through anxiety was hard for me at first because I felt deeply underprepared to handle life as a competent adult. My fears were stacked on top of each other until everything blended together and just felt like too much.

So I do get it.

And I also know that on the other side of anxiety, life feels very different. Meeting challenges without my heart racing, my hands going numb, or feeling weak and dizzy still feels a little magical to me.

My hope is that everyone gets to experience that one day. Not because anxiety made them weak, but because it shows just how resilient and resourceful they already are when they’re finally allowed to thrive. 🩷✨